Cheer Pressure

To celebrate the Recession that is plaguing America, I am reposting my suggestion list from my now-defunct LiveJournal blog, with a couple of edits. So read on, if you feel the need. Pardon any irreverence in the tone; 'tis the season to be stressed out! Falalalalalalalalala.

This post is strictly meant to be helpful.

Did you know that the average American family will go into debt over holiday presents?

And that the average holiday expenditure per family of four is over one thousand dollars?

And that everyone seems to want something out of you on the holiday trainwreck--whether it be get-togethers, expanding tipping for the people who provide services throughout the year, or the incessantly tinntinnabulous bellringers outside of local constabulatories?

So, Hilley has solutions for you. Of course, I'd like to suggest gently that we just stop with all of the gift-giving, but that would be really hypocritical of me since I lurve giving presents to people. LOVE IT. I love all of it--selecting them, wrapping them lovingly a la Martha Stewart, and watching with glee as the recipient(s) opens my carefully-contemplated schwag. Love it.

What I don't love is the pre-holiday anxiety about how in the heck I plan to pay for all of this material joy.

So, short of standing on street corners with a sign stating Will Conjugate/Edit/Proselytize for Christmas Money, I have been casting about for financially sound holiday solutions for Loved Ones, and I want to share my new-found wisdom with you.

NEW SUGGESTIONS FOR 2009's CONTINUING ECONOMIC CRISIS:

1A. Just tell your friends and family that the recession is hitting you particularly hard, and you will be praying for them/thinking of them/writing poetry in honor of them in lieu of presents. How can anyone argue with that?

1B. Write up lovely cards stating that you donated to The Human Fund in their name to celebrate Festivus.

1C. Just promise to not discuss politics with them for the next twelve months in lieu of a tangible gift. Most of us would appreciate that, especially if your political views are Wrong and theirs are Correct. In their estimation, of course.

1D. Go to sleep on the 23rd and awaken on the 26th, holiday over. Then hit the 80% off sales, beg for forgiveness, and enjoy the savings.

Now on to the suggestion list from last year, reposted in lieu of a present to many, many of you, because I love you and because I apparently love handbags more than I love you. My apologies. And NONE of these places have given me anything to write about them, so please don't accuse me of being overly commercial.

1. Do not re-gift, unless you are ABSOLUTELY certain that the original gift-giver has moved to Saskatchewan and that the new recipient will not be posting pictures of the new bling on Facebook or whatever. In our newly savvy techno-age, there are a myriad of ways in which a regifter can be busted. I speak from vicarious experience, since my BFF has regifted virtually every gift I've ever given her. . .to me. In recent years I've gotten smart and only given her expendables, like face cream or a gift card. You'd be amazed at what that woman is willing to return, and in what condition, and without what receipts. She is so lucky I love her. (Note from 2009: For her birthday on 11/21, I gave her something I liked just in case it finds its way under my tree on the 25th.)

2. Homemade presents are always great, but be careful that you don't end up spending more money on the materials than you would have on some pre-made stuff of similar ilk. Five years ago, BFF and I went soap-crazy and made homemade soaps for all of our beloveds. While some of the soaps were well-received (and some were hilarious--like the one we filled with toenail clippings, and the one we filled with leftover Ramen Noodles) the average cost per bar of soap was over eight bucks. In other words, NOT COST-EFFICIENT.)

3. Hit the dollar spot at T____ (national discount chain with a bullseye logo). They have amazing stuff there, and, more importantly, they have really good-quality gift wrap and bows for A DOLLAR. Failing that, start saving unusual shopping bags, pieces of paper, and fabric for unique gift-wrap. Those card-stock, unrecycle-able community newsletters? Great giftwrap, guaranteed to raise eyebrows! And I'd also like to point out that P___ (local grocery store chain) has nice reusable grocery bags with festive prints--pop a gift in, close it, and you have two gifts in one!

4. For those of you who are girly: This website has Sephora-level quality cosmetics for a dollar apiece, and gift sets in the five/ten/fifteen dollar range: http://www.eyeslipsface.com. Their packaging is good and the shipping prices are decent.

5. For those of you are super-girly, try this website, where every piece of jewelry is "free" (actually, 6.99 for shipping, but when it arrives the stamp says 82 cents, but whatever): www.silverjewelryclub.com

6. For those of you with a slightly higher budget and a quirky sense of humor, try any of these websites: www.fredflare.com,www.blueq.com, and www.perpetualkid.com.

7. There is absolutely nothing wrong with finding something vintage and amazing at Goodwill Boutique--especially the one near Park Avenue in Winter Park. Dechoes is good, too, if you are looking for something in particular.

8. If you have a slightly higher discretionary income and want your money to go to good use, you can't beat the fair-trade handmade bags at Amani Ya Juu, which I'm getting for my mom, sister, and sister-in-law this season. All of the proceeds go to the women in the tribe. Special thanks to the Chitty family for their hands-on work with this organization. www.amaniafrica.org.

9. You cannot underestimate the power of a deed or an event. Offer to take a younger sibling out for an afternoon, or pack a picnic for your sig-o, or offer to help the disorganized adult in your life redo her filing system, or whatever. Write the offer in a nice card and revel in the money you're saving--and the real impact you might be creating.

10. Also, don't underestimate the power of your own talents. Burn a DVD of a film you've made, or a performance in which you participated, and include a detailed write-up; take your oddest/most innovative playlist and commemorate it on a CD; make a painting, or write a poem, or short story; if you have leftover art materials from previous craft projects, get creative and see what you can make. Grandparents will squee in glee; little kids will love it; your friends may tease you but secretly adore it.

Final note: You really do not have to get presents for teachers, although the greediest among us do love bling. Overweening giftage can be awkward, and the majority of us would really prefer a heartfelt note wishing us a nice holiday and saying how the class is going so far. Save your money; buy your girl/boyfriend something, go to the movies, go buy a book and READ IT. Then write me a note about how you used the money you almost blew on an apple paperweight or bookmark and how much you really love literature, and we're gravy. Of course, if you are a millionaire, I would like to mention how much I like Starbucks.

Happy Holidays, everyone!